A Soulful Relationship By Rev. Ronald McFadden
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couple and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, do not let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and do not fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults are not really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.
If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses and strengths.
You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are PERFECT, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you COMPETE, COMPARE and CONTROL?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can not take someone to the altar to alter him or her.
Sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note. Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email. Growth is important; Grow together, not away from eachother, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can not always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. DO not try to control one another.
Learn each other's family situation. RESPECT his or her parents regardless.
Do not put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and painreplace the passion.
Finally, the difference between United and Untied is where you put the 'I'.
